tentang kehidupan

Manusia dalam kelangsungan hidupnya pasti melewati berbagai macam perubahan.  Perubahan-perubahan tersebut bisa berarah ke sisi negatif dan tentunya ke sisi positif. Apabila anda seorang manusia normal, maka anda akan merasakan perubahan-perubahan serta pertumbuhan-pertumbuhan yang terjadi dalam diri anda, baik fisik maupun mental.

Dalam menjalani hidup, kita tidak bisa lepas dari membuat berbagai macam pilihan, bahkan dari lahir sampai mati pun kita selalu membuat pilihan, atau pilihan itu dibuatkan untuk kita. Misalnya sebelum ibu kita hamil, dia akan membuat pilihan dulu bersama suaminya untuk hamil, sesudah hamil dia akan memilih untuk melahirkan atau tidak, andai kata ia memilih untuk melahirkan, dia harus memilih lagi untuk memelihara bayinya atau tidak, dst.  Sama halnya juga dengan kematian , kita juga bisa memilih mau mengakhiri hidup kita atau tidak, tapi dalam konteks ini, lebih ditentukan kepada nasib atau keinginan Tuhan.
Pilihan-pilihan yang anda buat juga mempunyai konsekuensinya masing-masing.

kenyataan vs. angan-angan

ini cuman sesuatu yang ada dipikiran gue, mw kalian setuju ato mau kalian ga ya terserah, pkonya ini pandangan gue tentang kenyataan dan angan-angan.

dari arti katanya aja 2 kata itu udh tolak belakang banget, angan-angan = sesuatu yang lu pgn buat terjadi. Kenyataan = yang lagi lu hadepin skarang. bedanya kenyataan ama angan-angan : angan2 bisa jadi kenyataan, tapi kenyataan mah kenyataan aja, sering kali kenyataan tuh kejam, dan kita ga bisa bikin apa2 tentang kenyataan yang kejam itu. kenyataan yang kejam cuman bisa dihadepin, kita ga bisa bikin apa2 lagi buat ngubah kenyataan yang ada. angan-angan adalah sesuatu yang dorong kita terus berada didalam kenyataan, misalnya, angan2 lu pgn dapet GPA bagus, yang bikin lu berangan2 kaya gitu tuh sebenernya soalnya GPA lu tuh lagi jelek skarang, jadi angan2 lah yang bkin kita belajar terus supaya bisa dapet GPA bagus, angan-angan ampir sama lah ama tujuan kalo menurut gue tapi biasanya kita ga ngejar angan-angan, tapi kita slalu ngejar tujuan.

Orang yang lagi berangan2 kalo ngomong biasanya dimulai dengan "kalo aja" trus diikutin dengan "pasti entar" contohnya "kalo aja gue ga masuk itb, pasti ntar masa depan gue bisa lebih cerah" ato "kalo aja gue punya duit banyak pasti ntar gue bisa hidup lebih asik" kalo dipikir2 angan2 ama penyesalan juga da samanya dikit2, kaya misalanya "kalo aja gue ga minum2 ampe mabok, pasti ga akan gini jadinya" ato "kalo aja gue waktu muda dlu ga pake narkoba, pasti ga akan gini jadinya skarang"

setelah gue nyadar sekarang, ternyata gue tuh selama beberapa bulan ini terus hidup di dalam dunia angan-angan, ternyata gue tuh ga mau nerima kenyataan yang kejam, emang kedengeerannya kaya sinetron, tapi ya emang itu lah kenyataannya..selama beberapa bulan ini gue terus pengen angan2 gue tuh jadi kenyataan, gue cuman pengen dunia ini berjalan sesuai kemauan gue. nah orang2 kaya gitu tuh egois banget, gue lagi egois sebenenrnya waktu gue pgn semua angan2 gue jadi kenyataan.

udh lah pkonya pandangan gue tentang kenyataan tuh itu, terserah lu mw setuju apa ga, pokonya itu cuman pandanan subjektif dari gue.

flashback memories echoed from my stories
stroke back struck my tension
just a slide of your face
projected from a broken heart

it's all in your head
you might find out if you say
till you sweat all your pains out
and you've got nothing to hold

i see you caught me falling down
i'm falling down the page
and i forgot to see your face

it's not like it used to be
now that i know you
you're a whole mistakes in every ways
like a trigger pointing on your face
you're the devil wishing i make mistakes
and i'm to do my last prayer

i see you caught me falling down
i'm falling down the page
a tight spot between two ways
i see you caught me falling down
i'm falling down the page
and i forgot to see your face

i see you caught me falling
i see you caught me falling
down.


baru tau gue artinya apa,..hahha....

Aku, Aku, dan Aku yang lainnya.

aku frustasi
aku tak dapat berpikir
aku cemburu
aku merana
hatiku berdegup kencang
kepalaku mau pecah rasanya
aku tidak tahan lagi
aku ingin loncat keluar jendela
aku tidak bisa hidup seperti ini
aku, aku, dan aku yang lainnya

aku perantau di negeri asing
aku ulat di sarang semut
aku pikir aku mampu
aku, aku, dan aku yang lainnya

aku tergoyang
aku labil
pengelihatanku buram
aku buta
aku tuli
aku bisu
aku, aku, dan aku yang lainnya

another dollar for another cup of 1-Z-3.

Coffee. a popular beverage which contains a subtance called caffeine. can it be that this particular kind of drink is addictive??Well, research have shown that coffee is addictive in some ways, and i don't know what possesed me when i went to the Linbloom Student Center, headed towards the coffee machine, and started punching the combination 1-z-3 to get a nice warm cup of french vanilla mocha. So i'm not the kind of guy that are so addicted to coffee, but i'm afraid that i might become one.

Maybe i like to save money, but i also like to save time. Buying a cup of coffee in a vending machine is far quicker than having to stand in line and wait for half an hour just to get a cup of coffee, and be late for class, and it also cheaper too, the most expensive one in the vending machine is the french vanilla mocha, and it only costs like a dollar.

So let's say that i am addicted to coffee, if that's true, i only want to be addicted to 1-z-3.

True or False?? You stare at people when you like them.

it doesn't matter wheter it's someone you like, or a friend, or somebody you don't know, or even someone in your family. if you like somebody (in my opinion) you stare at them. Isn't it true?? even if everyone else thinks that that sombody isn't really cute or beautiful, if you like them, inside and out, you don't even think of these things anymore. You stare at people you like, well, okay, i'll narrow it down, I STARE AT A GIRL THAT I LIKE. if you take a look at my first blog, this is the same girl that we're talking about here. i don't know how i got attracted to this particular girl, but i'm guessing time must've got something to do with it, you know if you spend much time with somebody you start to know that person better?and when you know a person good enough you start to think that there's a connection between you two? well i don't know about you guys, but that is what i'm feeling right now.

Have you ever felt that feeling when you stare at somebody and the she/he stared back at you and then all of the sudden you feel very uncomfortable, but then after she/he looked away, you stare at that person again? this "caught in the act" feeling often occurs to me, i mean, it happened a lot, but my question is, does the person i stare at realize that i was staring at her? owh well, even if she does realize it, it'll make my life just a little bit easier.

What an interesting day it was !!

Friday afternoon. the weather was not bad, it was windy and it was cold, but it wasn't that bad. My friends and I decided to go to IKEA for shopping, we thought that we needed some things to make our room at CCA comfortable. We took the 164 to Kent Station. As soon as we arrived at Kent station, we had to wait for another 15 minutes til the 153 bus arrive. While we were waiting, something interesing happened. We saw this drug dealer, (or drug user, whichever one is it, we didn't really care) got busted by police, it was a sweet view, it was one of those events that you can only see on TV, the only difference was, you weren't watching any TV, it was a live event. So we actually didn't realize that there was a drug dealer there until we saw a sherrif car pulled over and parked right at the bus' lane, and when we turn around and looked to our backs, and there he was, with handcuffs on, and a policeman frisking him, that's when we realize that he was a drug dealer. So Danny took a video using his cell phone, so we can show our friends what happened. The 153 arrived and a second later, we were on our way to IKEA.

We were all excited. It was 3 o'clock when we stepped our feet in IKEA and started to look around for some things that we might need to make our apartments comfortable"We live on campus and we spend almost all of our times in the rooms, therefore, we must make our room the most comfy place on earth" said Danny, my most expressive friend.

We searched, compared, picked, and finally came to the end of our day in IKEA, when we reached the cashier, i looked at my wrist watch, and the tiny numbers on it indcated that it was around 6:30, we hurried up and payed and hoped that there's still gonna be enough time to reach the bus stop, because we knew (or at least we thought we knew) the last bus leaves at 7 o'clock. When we finished paying, i took another look at my watch again and it indicates that it's 7, we know that we missed our bus, but the crazy thing was, instead of looking for a different bus or call taxi or something, we just sat and start to order hot dogs, since it was very cheap. And then after we ate we marched outside and found that there were no more buses left, so we decided to ask some people, Nadira asked some people and then told us that we need to walk to Home Depot and take the 150 to kent station, and then take whatever bus at Kent station that goes to Auburn station or straight to GRCC, So we started to walk. we walk and walk and walk and we didn't see any home depot, So we decided to ask some more people. This time it was danny's turn, He asked a clerk at some gas station, but the clerk didn't know anything so he started to ask some customers, and they said the exact same thing-that we need to walk to home depot and take 150. We were not sure, so we decided that we need to ask some more people. This time, it was my turn, i started to ask some guy who was just pulling out of the parking lot, he explained how to get the kent station by car, he knew nothing about buses. I asked a guy at Subway and he gave me the same thing the other people gave danny and Nadira, so we decided to keep walking. We walked and walked, under the bridge, and kept walking, we walk for roughly a mile, and then there it was, the big orange sign that says HOME DEPOT, and a blue painted rusty bus stop thing standing right across the street from it. It was like finding our pot of gold, we were happy, i could see a frown on Citra's face suddenly fade away and turned into a smile, not a very big one,but still a smile.

So we rode the 150 to the kent station, and when we arrived at kent station, our intersting day wasn't over just yet. Somebody came up to us and offered us Weed, i mean it was so odd, cause he was trying to sell us weed as if he was trying to sell something good, i bet he didn't know that earlier that day a guy just got busted probably for doing what he did.